What if the key to showing up as a great leader had nothing to do with your title, metrics, or credentials—and everything to do with knowing who you are outside of work?
In this episode of Supra Insider, Marc and Ben sit down with executive coach Charles Ruiz to explore how leaders can shift from external validation to authentic presence. Charles shares the origins of his mantra “Presence over Preference,” his Four Cs framework (Core, Craft, Community, Creativity) and the transformative practice of running an “identity marathon” through meaningful places from his past.
You’ll hear benefits of executives ditching scripted presentations for personal anecdotes (including burrito orders), reframing failure as fuel, and designing your own “games” and “seasons” of life instead of playing someone else’s. Whether you’re climbing the corporate ladder, pivoting careers or just questioning who you are beyond your job, this conversation will help you reconnect with your story—and turn it into your superpower.
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In this episode, we covered the following topics:
(04:56) Backstory of the “Presence over Preference” mantra and how a brand exercise in New York sparked it.
(08:28) Balancing presence with social media: reframing posts as “creative love notes” to self and family.
(13:07) Sunday family ritual: revisiting old photos to foster gratitude and presence with his daughters.
(16:45) “Standardize before you optimize”: lessons from friends, wearables, and focusing on what matters first.
(21:08) Introducing the Four Cs framework (Core, Craft, Community, Creativity) and redefining performance through presence.
(25:27) Helping high performers answer “Who am I outside of work?” and why most can’t—until mid-career or later.
(31:58) The Identity Marathon: revisiting formative places to reconnect past and present self; emotional and physical impact.
(41:35) Coaching executives to weave personal quirks (like burrito orders) into presentations for authentic storytelling.
(47:50) Leaning into superpowers and showing weaknesses to lead more authentically; parallels to stand-up comedy and self-awareness.
(55:07) Corporations, “playing someone else’s game,” and choosing to design your own seasons of life and career.
And more!
Links:
Charles Ruiz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charles-ruiz/
Charlie Ruiz IG: https://www.instagram.com/charleslruiz/
Michael Singer Podcast: https://resources.soundstrue.com/michael-singer-podcast/
Michael Singer Book: https://a.co/d/3aabILj
Mike Birbiglia: The Old Man & the Pool: https://www.netflix.com/title/81665900
Willow Voice (Get the first month free by using Ben’s referral link): https://willowvoice.com/?ref=BEREZ64
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